Festive fayre

A layer of chips will now sign off for a few days (please don't cry) whilst it eats itself stupid and drinks too many bottles of Bath Ales (why am I talking in the third person?). But before I go, here are two Christmas songs you won't hear on the radio over the next few days because the world is UNFAIR and DIRTY.

First up is Vom Vorton's version of the Fountains of Wayne's 'I Want an Alien For Christmas'. I once fell asleep during the Fountains of Wayne at Reading Festival. 1997, I believe, but Vom (Tom) makes it all better by being Vom (Tom).

Secondly, there is Oxo Foxo's deeply gorgeous 'It Never Snows at Christmas'. This is one for those in the audience who will be enduring a turkey ready meal for one on Saturday. Our hearts are with you, comrades.

Happy Christmas.